Author Topic: Top tips.  (Read 446 times)

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  • Guest
Re: Top tips.
« Reply #8 on: April 20, 2016, 02:12:58 AM »

C-Family @ Faithwall


No no folks, just the top of the socks, not an entire sock into its partner.    lol

Ain't lost one yet, and they've never drifted apart in the wash either, see.  :)

Forget about those net bags Seeker, I know my wife did use them',
but not for ages. 
Must go and ask if she lost it in the washing.

I tell you what did happen last week though.
Better half bought me a pack of socks and one
has actually disappeared from my drawer before
I even wore it!!!!!

Yep TJ's, start a conspiracy  theory, 
there's definitely something going on.
Go sock it to 'em.


C-Family @ Faithwall


Offline Seeker

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Re: Top tips.
« Reply #9 on: April 20, 2016, 07:35:56 AM »
Who'd have thought - socks - such a controversial subject :rolleyes:


  • Guest
Re: Top tips.
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2016, 01:58:21 PM »
Cos there so many uses for em other than covering your tootsies

Offline francis drake

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Re: Top tips.
« Reply #11 on: May 11, 2016, 09:13:35 PM »
I used to get stacks of socks and they would always come back as odd socks [or disappear as if the washing machine or the tumble dryer had gobbled them up - at least that was the theory - but in real life they come in handy for cold footed daughters]

I ended up tucking socks inside each other - but then was told that they did not dry properly and I still end up with odd socks.

I think I shall create a conspiracy theory ....

 [it's not as if they ever went without  - but then you see the more they take - the more God provides - or at least that's the theory of the wealthy]

Come on TJ, everyone knows that socks metamorphasize into wire coat hangers whilst in the washing machine. 

I read a technical report on it several decades ago and then ran a simple test. Every time you notice socks are disappearing, just pull the washing machine out, and you are guaranteed to find a collection of mostly wire coat hangers breeding in the dust and heat under the machine. I have done this many times and it always gives the same result.
Disturb us Lord, when we are too pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us Lord, to dare more boldly. To venture on wider seas. Where storms will show your mastery; Where, losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; And to push into the future, in strength, courage, hope and love.                     (SIR FRANCIS DRAKE 1577)


  • Guest
Re: Top tips.
« Reply #12 on: June 17, 2016, 05:01:31 AM »

Hello, now then, like so many many folks my good wife and I ("I" sounds better than "me", don't you think) receive more
than our fair share of unwanted mail, actually the correct term is "JUNK MAIL", I believe.
So much so that I decided it was such a waste of good paper, good quality pamphlet\magazine paper on occasions, that I
decided we really must return the JUNK MAIL to the sender rather than dump it in the common waste paper collection bin.

We did not ask for, nor gave permission,  nor wished to receive this unsolicited JUNK MAIL that continually pops through
our ever wearing thin letter box flap.
So, on mulling this predicament over in my mind, I suggested to my dear lady wife the next time she was shopping at our
local **Tesco store where she enjoys shopping, to purchase a copious amount of white stick-on labels.
** Is there a Tesco near you?  Good!!!

Now, whenever JUNK MAIL pops through the old letter box, rather than finding ourselves exasperated, as we were want
to do, we stay ever so calm and serene while applying one of our purchased white stick on labels with the words,
"Return To Sender" hand printed and placed over the top of our address on the unwanted JUNK MAIL envelope.

Being ever so thoughtful, (baring in mind the final closing sentence) we also draw attention, by neatly drawing a red arrow
with felt tip pen pointing in the direction of the senders address.

If, as is often the case, the return address is printed on the reverse side of the envelope, we simply point the red coloured
arrow in the appropriate direction with the words printed (with red felt tip pen) "Address on Back".

Given time, we are ever hopeful our reward for thinking of and returning the unsolicited JUNK MAIL to whoever sends us any JUNK
MAIL,  the unwanted JUNK MAIL will, in due season, cease or at least diminish.
However, the real reward is my O' My, what an ever so serenely pleasing and satisfying feeling one experiences when the envelope
is dropped into the mail box.

As Kenny Everett used to say, "It's all done in the best possible taste".

You could also, if you were of a mind, to whistle Elvis's song "Return To Sender" whilst popping JUNK MAIL into the mail box.
Supremely satisfying. I kid you not.

Don't take my word for it folks, experience the joy yourself, join us in the "Return To Sender JUNK MAIL Society".
Pop a hand printed "Return to Sender" white label on top of your return addressed any JUNK MAIL envelope and Pop It In The Mail Box.
(there's normally one in your local Tesco store)

With utmost respect, please bare in mind if adopting the above tip, it must be implemented with a mind worthy of who and what
we profess ourselves to be.

Wonderful and sincere best wishes to all.

weewillie. :)

Offline Goaty

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Re: Top tips.
« Reply #13 on: June 17, 2016, 10:18:36 AM »
I found out why I have a sock missing from two pairs of nice socks. My cousins eldest boy came and stayed the night. He got his socks wet so rather then borrow a pair he just grabbed two of different colours and wore them to go back home and I'm guessing they were binned by his mum for being odd socks as we never had them back.
So I keep the two odd socks in case they ever return... As if I decommission them for other uses I'd probably find that the other socks would return!

Offline Tes Johnson

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Re: Top tips.
« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2017, 02:43:42 AM »
Wire coat hangers are great for hooking out keys from drains - except they do not make them any more..

Wire coat hangers are also great for unblocking sinks and unlocking car doors... except they do not make them anymore..

I think this is a conspiracy to stop us from finding car keys and unlocking car doors.

The main person behind this is the RAC... and the AA...

They know that plastic coat hangers no longer work in this process and have hidden this from us

C-Family @ Faithwall



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