Author Topic: Christian family - family and home topics  (Read 10831 times)

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Offline John

Re: Christian family - family and home topics
« Reply #160 on: May 15, 2016, 02:34:38 PM »

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What is the best way to deal with the problem of poverty?
In one way there will always be those who are 'poor'. There are a number of responces one of which is to point out the consquences of not achieving while in school.  Another is to show that our actions have a consquence.i.e. premarital sex results in unmarried mothers who are poorer than married couples.
There is a need for welfare support, but should there also be a consquence for self harm. i.e. the guy who drinks his benefit away, should he be getting benefit?

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Offline homebird159

Re: Christian family - family and home topics
« Reply #161 on: May 15, 2016, 10:04:12 PM »
The guy who drinks his benefit away... it's easy to stand back and judge, isn't it?

It only takes one major life-crisis and some well-meaning buddies handing him a few shots - and the loneliness and depression because of the crisis leads him to drink again... and again... and once a person is hooked on drink, how hard is it to suddenly stop drinking?  Or smoking?  Or gambling?  Or whatever.  As long as there is sin in human-kind, there will be the poor, whether by oppression or by their own bad choices.   Ask someone who simply cannot diet how hard it is to give up food that is bad for them.  Sometimes the problems are not a matter of choice, but a matter of trauma and emotional breakdown.  Ask someone who can only afford the cheaper brands to buy healthier food - so they do not become more sick, and therefore, poor for longer.   It's a Catch-22, and a very slippery slope; not always one that is easily avoided in this life.

Bad choices and bad experiences can lead people into places they may live to regret forevermore, but they have not the will or the power to get out of that hole they have fallen into.  Do we leave them there to rot?  Or do we at least try to provide them with the basics needed for living until they can get out of that pit?

I prefer the latter option.

An incidental true story - we once had a neighbour who liked a good drink - tell the truth, she was more often drunk that sober, but, she had some young children and we felt sad for those children who were often neglected.  Time and time again she would come knocking on our door asking for money to feed the kids that night - and time and time again, I would go into the kitchen, fill a box and give her the box of food, but no money.   Not everyone is poor by their own choice.  Those kids certainly were not.

CFamily

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Motherhood is Missional
« Reply #162 on: May 16, 2016, 07:07:01 AM »
Motherhood is Missional

“Children tie the mother’s feet.” That is an old Tamil proverb that means children keep mothers from doing what they want to do. I can sympathize with the feet-tied feeling when my four kids join forces to do away with the interruption-free moments that I envision for myself.


I was first introduced to this saying through Amy Carmichael. Amy was not the biological mother for any of the hundreds of children she nurtured. She was their mother, however, because Jesus caused her to be fruitful and multiply spiritually as she discipled the orphans and children she rescued from slavery and death. Amy saw her feet-tiedness as opportunity for the gospel because she understood what was really going on. God wasn’t tying her feet with all of those children, he was opening doors for the gospel to be proclaimed in India.


We could all benefit from Amy’s perspective, especially when we feel as though our children are keeping us from the missional lives we want to live. The refrigerator needs to be restocked, the sick kid needs to be picked up from school early, the Sunday School class needs volunteers, and the exam study groups need to be supervised. “I’d love to ‘go therefore,’ but the farthest I can go is to the nursery and back,” a frustrated new mom once lamented.


When we’re feeling trapped in our feet-tiedness, we need to be reminded of what is really going on:


  1. Motherhood is evidence of God’s mercy. God’s undeserved gift of life, in spite of our sin, is overwhelming. Children are a heritage from the LORD (Ps. 127:3).

  2. Every plan that mom makes can come undone, but nothing can undo God’s plan to lead her in the good works he planned for her to walk in from before the foundation of the world (Eph. 2:10).

  3. Mom’s days and nights can be filled with fatigue and frustration in this fallen world, but we are hopeful because before we know it we’ll be standing together with the great multitude that no one can number, from every nation, crying out with a loud voice, “Salvation belongs to our God who sits on the throne, and to the Lamb!” (Rev. 7:9-10). Until then, we get to announce the gospel and live out the story that says: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come” (2 Cor. 5:17).

At this point I have to confess that it is easier to write these truths and agree with them than it is to wholeheartedly love them. When the kids plow through an entire cabinet of after-school snacks, my first thought is not usually, “Oh wonderful! The Lord must be sending me to the grocery store. I wonder who I will have a chance to minister to there.”


When I pull into a parking garage I might pray for a parking space instead of an opportunity to speak of grace. When a kid can’t fall asleep and wants to share what’s on their mind…you get the idea. We all need to be regularly reminded of what’s really going on. Just like Amy Carmichael, the place we’re going to have our minds renewed in the truth is by immersing ourselves in God’s Word.


The Bible isn’t “good advice for missional moms,” it’s our very lives. Nowhere else are we going to find this kind of life-giving food for our soul: “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Gal. 2:20).


From the soccer field and the grocery store to the zenana and the favela, our mothering work is part of Jesus’s mission to the world. No mom can apply for this “ambassador for Christ” role, but rather, we are chosen because of God’s grace. Jesus has bound himself to us, which is a comforting thought when we feel trapped in our feet-tiedness.


What a joy it is to be freed to live by faith in the Son of God who loves us and gave himself for us… wherever he has decided to send us for however long he has ordained. Jesus invites women to missional motherhood: to follow his pattern, to trust his promises, and to nurture others by the power he provides.




Source: Motherhood is Missional

C-Family - C-More








http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/11187-motherhood-is-missional
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

CFamily

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I Want People to Like Me. Is That So Bad?
« Reply #163 on: May 17, 2016, 07:15:57 AM »
I Want People to Like Me. Is That So Bad?

There is a stark difference between how my husband and I approach conflicts at work. My husband focuses on making the right decisions and—though he’s a friendly, caring person—worries little about emotional or relational fallout. I remain keenly interested in how each decision, from a new process to a single remark, will affect what people think about me.


In this posture of gauging every move, my goal is to ensure people keep thinking of me positively. I want them to like me. When it comes down to it, I want everyone—in my work, church, family—to like me.


Of course, part of me knows this is unrealistic. Not everyone I interact with like me, sometimes for reasons out of my control. Plus, being universally liked is not necessarily a biblical desire. But it’s there, persistent and nagging, and it’s not just me who feels it.


In We Should All Be Feminists, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie wrote about American friends: “What struck me is how invested they are in being ‘liked.’ How they have been raised to believe that their being likable is very important and that this ‘likable’ trait is a specific thing. We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case.”


Throughout the Bible, there are specific calls for women to be kind, gentle, pure, and respectful (Prov. 31:26, Titus 2:5, 1 Peter 3:3). We could assume such traits would result in likeability, yet none of these character values presuppose that we’ll make our decisions by prioritizing how to stay in someone’s good graces. Christ’s upside down kingdom, where the first is the last—or perhaps for this example, where the cool is the uncool – doesn’t leave much room for seriously caring about being liked. In fact, many of the great women and men of the Bible made bold decisions that put them on the outs of their social circles.


Ask any leader, and they’ll tell you; you will inevitably have to make unpopular decisions. So why do women still seem so intent on being liked? Probably because we know the real consequences of being disliked; the very actions that make women successful can backfire on their reputation if they fall outside of how people expect women to behave. For women more so than men, being “brusque,” tough, outspoken, or even different could mean negative reactions that not only sting, but also bear real potential for dismissal or exclusion.





Source: I Want People to Like Me. Is That So Bad?

C-Family - C-More








http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/11186-i-want-people-to-like-me-is-that-so-bad
http://www.amazon.com/We-Should-All-Be-Feminists/dp/110191176X
http://www.christianitytoday.com/women/2014/may/who-you-calling-brusque.html
https://hbr.org/2013/04/for-women-leaders-likability-a/
http://ai.christianitytoday.com/cti/adclick/viewid=76434579/site=ctwomen/area=article/position=network_1/size=HTML/category=/keyword=/platform=/status=guest/visit_source=feed
http://ai.christianitytoday.com/cti/nserver/viewid=1/site=ctwomen/area=article/position=network_1/size=HTML/category=/keyword=/platform=/status=guest/visit_source=feed
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

Offline John

Re: Christian family - family and home topics
« Reply #164 on: May 17, 2016, 02:15:45 PM »
Strange, why do managers have to be "?brusque,? tough, outspoken, or even different "?
I've had a number of female managers, they all got there because they were good at their job, they could motivate their suborndinates to work, complete all the paper work and play the game of office politics.
 They demonstrated to their staff that they were fair, but that the rules would be obeyed and that we were all there to work. Were they better than the male managers, only in one area, anything to do with trouble with children were they more likely to be more flexible.

Serenity

  • Guest
Re: Christian family - family and home topics
« Reply #165 on: May 17, 2016, 04:33:17 PM »
The guy who drinks his benefit away... it's easy to stand back and judge, isn't it?

It only takes one major life-crisis and some well-meaning buddies handing him a few shots - and the loneliness and depression because of the crisis leads him to drink again... and again... and once a person is hooked on drink, how hard is it to suddenly stop drinking?  Or smoking?  Or gambling?  Or whatever.  As long as there is sin in human-kind, there will be the poor, whether by oppression or by their own bad choices.   Ask someone who simply cannot diet how hard it is to give up food that is bad for them.  Sometimes the problems are not a matter of choice, but a matter of trauma and emotional breakdown.  Ask someone who can only afford the cheaper brands to buy healthier food - so they do not become more sick, and therefore, poor for longer.   It's a Catch-22, and a very slippery slope; not always one that is easily avoided in this life.

Bad choices and bad experiences can lead people into places they may live to regret forevermore, but they have not the will or the power to get out of that hole they have fallen into.  Do we leave them there to rot?  Or do we at least try to provide them with the basics needed for living until they can get out of that pit?

I prefer the latter option.

An incidental true story - we once had a neighbour who liked a good drink - tell the truth, she was more often drunk that sober, but, she had some young children and we felt sad for those children who were often neglected.  Time and time again she would come knocking on our door asking for money to feed the kids that night - and time and time again, I would go into the kitchen, fill a box and give her the box of food, but no money.   Not everyone is poor by their own choice.  Those kids certainly were not.

Good post, reminds me of Scripture....'whatsoever you do to the least of your brothers, so you do unto Me' ... its a shame that people look down on others instead of seeing everyone as an equal, no matter what situation they are in.  If people 'loved' others as they should be loved themselves and love themselves, then the world would be a whole better place. 

CFamily

  • Guest
Terence Davies Talks About Making Movies That Speak the Truth
« Reply #166 on: May 18, 2016, 07:12:38 AM »
Terence Davies Talks About Making Movies That Speak the Truth

Terence Davies is a legend. In his four-decade career, Davies—who was raised in Liverpool in a devout working-class Roman Catholic family, the youngest of ten—has created a body of work like no one else, one that examines memory, family, and place through often startling beauty.


Davies with Agyness Deyn and Peter Mullan in 'Sunset Song'

Davies with Agyness Deyn and Peter Mullan in 'Sunset Song'



Davies abandoned religion as a teenager, and often grapples with his complicated relationship to the church, tragedy, and sexuality in his movies; he is outright critical of religion.


But his films (including Of Time and the City, The Long Day Closes, and Distant Voices, Still Lives) exude a spiritual sensibility and palpable longing that’s nearly unmatched in contemporary cinema. His camera’s careful attention to small things, like the light streaming through a window or a flickering candle, imbues everyday life with something like holiness.


There’s often large gaps between Davies’s films, due to funding. But this year, he has two out at once. Sunset Song, out in theaters this weekend, is an adaptation of Lewis Grassic Gibbon’s 1932 novel about a young Scottish woman, Chris Guthrie. Chris’s life is marked by both great tragedy and beauty, and critics (including this one) are hailing it as a masterpiece. A Quiet Passion, which premiered at the Berlin Film Festival earlier this year and is still awaiting a U.S. release date, traces the life of Emily Dickinson and her struggles with her faith and her art. (Read our report from the film’s premiere.)


Davies, who speaks warmly and almost musically, spoke with me for forty-five minutes about truth-telling in cinema, shooting light and potatoes, religion, spirituality, and the rich inner life of Emily Dickinson. (He also quoted poetry.) What follows was edited for length and clarity.


Christianity Today: In both Sunset Song and A Quiet Passion, the female protagonists have overtly authoritarian, almost sadistic religious figures hovering over them at the beginning—the father on the one hand in the schoolmarm on the other. Did that similarity strike you at all when you started making the films?


Terence Davies: No. I think I was unconscious. Influences that are unconscious are much more interesting . . . I really did identify with [Dickinson] and I longed for her to be happy. She's yearning for something that will never come. It's heartbreaking, that. She admits, she says, "I've become embittered." That's what happened. What do you do when you actually become the very thing that you dread? Really, when push comes to shove, she's not turned bitter, really.


There's something greater at work there. She's embittered for that moment, but there's something much stronger, and much more spiritual, and much more admirable about her. She cares for other people. She does care about the truth and that.


Did you see that same sensibility in Chris Guthrie as well?


Yes. She's only 14 when [Sunset Song] begins and she's only 21 when it ends. The joy of just being alive, and her friend saying, "Only fools love being alive," which is an extraordinary thing to say. The love of being in the moment, of every moment seeming like a kind of extra thing. Of course, that doesn't exactly doesn't last. It eventually is killed by life. Hopefully you can retain something of that ecstasy as you get older and older. I love the quiet love between her and her brother. It's so quiet. It's so touching. I love that. I just love that.


Emma Bell in 'A Quiet Passion'

Emma Bell in 'A Quiet Passion'



You often shoot the interiors of houses, staircases, light, simple furnishings, plates of food. What’s so interesting about this to you?





Source: Terence Davies Talks About Making Movies That Speak the Truth

C-Family - C-More








http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/11200-terence-davies-talks-about-making-movies-that-speak-the-truth
http://www.christianitytoday.com/images/69696.jpg?h=164&w=250
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/february-web-only/dispatch-from-berlinalea-quiet-passion.html
http://www.christianitytoday.com/images/69694.jpg?h=149&w=250
http://ai.christianitytoday.com/cti/adclick/viewid=78707202/site=ctmag/area=article/position=network_1/size=HTML/category=movies/keyword=Film,MoviesandTV/platform=/status=guest/visit_source=feed
http://ai.christianitytoday.com/cti/nserver/viewid=1/site=ctmag/area=article/position=network_1/size=HTML/category=movies/keyword=Film,MoviesandTV/platform=/status=guest/visit_source=feed
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

CFamily

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Parenting and the Marriage Mess
« Reply #167 on: May 19, 2016, 07:00:36 AM »
Parenting and the Marriage Mess

"It felt like breaking up with myself," says Lisa-Jo Baker, describing the challenge of becoming a parent. "Because there are all these things you used to love about yourself and your life without kids—things you didn't even realize were special at the time. Those late-afternoon naps. Those spontaneous movie nights. Uninterrupted meals, sleep, bathroom breaks."


Mom of three and the author of Surprised by Motherhood: Everything I Never Expected About Being a Mom, Lisa-Jo continues, "And then the kids arrive and they huff and they puff and they blow your life down. It can be a disorienting experience that takes a while to wrap your head around—how you are breaking up with yourself for someone you love so much more."


The reality of parenting is that along with all the amazing joy, blessing, delight, and soul-deep love can come some heavy tolls: emotional struggles, stress, exhaustion, frustration, and a sense of lost identity. These are serious matters that are tough to grapple with. But these tolls don't just cost us as individuals—they can exact a dangerously high price from our marriages as well.


Time and time again, counselors and family experts report that parenting conflicts are a huge source of marital problems—and time and time again, our experiences bear this out. If you've got kids, then you know this to be true: It doesn't take much for parenting challenges to boil over into relationship struggles.


It doesn't take much for parenting challenges to boil over into relationship struggles.


Completely and utterly drained


For Leslie Burke—mother to a two-year-old and a four-month-old—one of the main parenting struggles that has led to challenges in her marriage has been how transitioning from working full-time in a gratifying job to the often thankless daily tasks of stay-at-home motherhood has affected her own emotions and energy level. "When I worked full-time, I achieved daily goals and made tangible progress on projects. I experienced success," Leslie explains. "But now, as a full-time mom, I struggle daily—trying to get kids to sleep, trying to get them to eat, trying to keep the house in reasonable order."


Leslie's experience is a common one—full-hearted parenting involves a lot of tending, serving, and giving . . . which invariably means it can feel like there's not much left to give to one's husband. "I can easily become short with my husband Pat, inadvertently showing little care or concern for his needs," Leslie candidly shares. "Over a long stretch of time, this really wears on our relationship and it feels like all of our interactions are ungracious or contentious."





Source: Parenting and the Marriage Mess

C-Family - C-More








http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/11235-parenting-and-the-marriage-mess
http://lisajobaker.com/
http://www.amazon.com/dp/1414387857/?tag=christtoday-20
http://ai.christianitytoday.com/cti/adclick/viewid=41296997/site=women/area=article/position=network_1/size=HTML/category=/keyword=Child-rearing,Conflict,Husbands,Marriage,MarriageStruggles,Spouse,Wives/platform=/status=guest/visit_source=
http://ai.christianitytoday.com/cti/nserver/viewid=1/site=women/area=article/position=network_1/size=HTML/category=/keyword=Child-rearing,Conflict,Husbands,Marriage,MarriageStruggles,Spouse,Wives/platform=/status=guest/visit_source=
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

C-Family @ Faithwall

C-FAMILY ~ C MORE @ Faithwall.co.uk