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Christian family - family and home topics
« on: October 16, 2014, 01:59:26 PM »

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Collecting regular extracts for the Christian Family


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That Great Teacher: What We Learn From Insecurity
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2016, 12:00:08 AM »
That Great Teacher: What We Learn From Insecurity

A few weeks ago I sat on the couch, opposite my husband, as we shared our dreams for the future. He is a pastor and I am a writer, two vocations that walk well together, hand-in-hand. We talked about ministry, calling, and vision. We hashed out our plans, our successes, our failures, and our fears.


Eventually the conversation turned to a subject I know well: insecurity. Throughout the past few years I have experienced a lot of insecurity in my writing and my call. The world of social media makes it easy to compare, leaving me to wonder if my gifts even matter. For years I ached, and even wept, over my inadequacy.


My husband has dealt with insecurities of his own. Although his are different from mine, the hearts of our insecurities are essentially the same: Am I enough? Are my gifts enough? How do I compare with other leaders? Am I capable of growing my ministry effectively?


Over the years, my husband’s struggles have functioned like a mirror reflecting back on my own, but with a wonderful, new kind of clarity. As I have walked my own journey of insecurity, and he has walked his, I have learned a lot about the intersection of insecurity, ministry, and leadership. I want to share just one of those lessons here.


Christians have one, primary way of dealing with insecurity, which is affirmation. Insecurity flourishes in the absence of love and truth, so we counter it with messages about God’s acceptance. If we can wrap our heads around God’s radical love for us, and His intentional purpose in creating us, those truths can eradicate insecurity.


That is the advice most frequently doled out, and it is true. When insecurity is rooted in a wound, or a lie, we need God’s love and truth to combat it. That is a good and valid response to insecurity.


However, there is something else at work in our insecurities as well. Insecurity is not only the result of failure, pain, or lies about yourself. Sometimes, in fact, insecurity points to something true. Insecurity highlights the parts of ourselves that are not surrendered to God. It elucidates false idols, self-glory, and sin. It reveals the things deep down in our hearts, that God is trying to kill.


For many of us, and leaders especially, insecurity is God’s way of bringing sin to the surface so that we can see it, and He can deal with it. And when this is the case—when insecurity is about your name, your reputation, and your glory—affirmation misses the point. In fact, affirmation can play right into the complex. When self already looms large, you don’t need more self.


That’s why, in many cases, the answer to insecurity is not more affirmation or positive self-talk. Not even the Christian kind. Instead you need to look hard in the face of insecurity and ask what God might be crucifying. What is God trying to wrestle out of your hands? What is He trying to kill, so that you can live?


In Matthew 16:24-25 Jesus tells his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” What these words tell us is that sometimes, insecurity is a grace. Through insecurity, we experience the pain of a life lived for ourselves. By clinging too tightly to our own need for affirmation, success, and glory, we taste the “loss of life” that Jesus describes, and it tastes like insecurity. Put another way, insecurity is what makes your self-focus unbearable. It is God’s way of saying, “Trust me, you don’t want to live this way.”


The next time you face insecurity about your ability as a leader, the growth of your ministry, your comparison with others, or your clout among peers, positive self-talk may not be the answer. Maybe what you need is the Holy Spirit to search you, to know your heart, and to see if there is any unrighteous way in you. Because that insecurity and self-doubt might not be from the Enemy. Instead, that insecurity might be a grace. It might feel like a death, and it might even be a kind of death, but life awaits on the other side.



Source: That Great Teacher: What We Learn From Insecurity

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http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/9635-that-great-teacher-what-we-learn-from-insecurity
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

CFamily

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Two Ways Christians Distort Islam (and Two Ways Muslims Distort Christianity)
« Reply #2 on: February 04, 2016, 12:00:15 AM »
Two Ways Christians Distort Islam (and Two Ways Muslims Distort Christianity)

Editor's Note: Christian. Muslim. Friend. received the 2016 Christianity Book Award in the category of Missions/The Global Church.


My wife, Grace, and I were in a restaurant in an Asian country when friends ushered to our table another American couple. Our friends introduced me as an expert on Islam. “Oh, how delightful to meet you!” the American couple exclaimed. “We want to learn all we can from you about Muslims. Of course, we both know it is difficult to describe Muslims, because the Muslim holy book teaches Muslims to be liars. So when a Muslim says he has become a Christian, we can all know he is still a Muslim because his lies actually communicate the opposite of what is true.”


On another occasion I was in a mosque on a Friday just on the eve of the Christmas holidays. In the sermon the imam confidently explained to the congregation that Christians get drunk on Christmas. So a proof of the truth of Islam is that Muslims do not get drunk, he said; they would never think of desecrating a Muslim festival by drinking.


Neither statement is true. Some Muslims do tell lies; some Christians do get drunk at Christmas. But this is not normal. Most Christians do not get drunk on Christmas, and most Muslims are not liars.


Muslims and Christians often participate in distortions of one another. Both would do well to be people of truth and avoid distortions or exaggerated overstatement. My goal is to communicate the essence of Islam in ways that, if Muslims were listening, they would agree. I am committed to accurately describing their faith and truthfully representing disagreements. I also plead with Muslims to exercise the same commitment. Muslims and Christians should be careful to portray each other in ways that are truthful, kind, and trust building.


In the spirit of building relations committed to truth, I will comment on four distortions that need to be addressed: two Muslim distortions and two Christian distortions.


The Counselor


Muslims often comment that Jesus prophesied the coming of Muhammad. This conviction arises from the Qur’an stating that Jesus anticipated a final prophet. Muslims believe Muhammad is that prophet. So Muslims search the New Testament to find where Jesus proclaimed that a final prophet would come. Muslim scholars say they have found the prophecy in John 14 and 16, where Jesus prophesied the coming of the Counselor. The original Greek word is paracleitos, meaning “counselor.” Muslim scholars sometimes state that they have discovered the original word is periplutos, meaning “the one worthy of praise.” Ahmed, or Muhammad, also means “the one worthy of praise.” These scholars explain that although the original word was periplutos, Christians removed periplutos and inserted a corruption of the text—namely, paracleitos, “the counselor.”


Christians often experience this “scholarly” denial of Jesus’ promise of the coming of the Holy Spirit. I was in a mosque when the imam began to weep as he explained to us that Christians had changed the text and inserted “the Holy Spirit” instead of the original “Muhammad.” The imam demonstrated anguished grief that Christians would do such a thing! How should Christians respond? This is how we responded in the mosque that evening:



There are at least 5,000 ancient manuscripts of the New Testament. All of these manuscripts, with no exception, assert that Jesus promised the Counselor would come and that the Counselor is the Holy Spirit. So we choose to stand upon the testimony of the Scriptures God has entrusted to us. And we encourage our Muslim friends likewise to respect the trustworthiness of the biblical account concerning the Holy Spirit.




Source: Two Ways Christians Distort Islam (and Two Ways Muslims Distort Christianity)

C-Family - C-More








http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/9650-two-ways-christians-distort-islam-and-two-ways-muslims-distort-christianity
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/january-february/christianity-todays-2016-book-awards.html?share=eR3vTQh01qlUuuz8YQrQIYtZioRmrqqV
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

TJ

  • Guest
Two Ways Christians Distort Islam (and Two Ways Muslims Distort Christianity)

<div id='article_intro_ag'><p>Editor's Note: <span>Christian. Muslim. Friend.</span> received the <a target="_blank" rel="nofollow" href="http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/january-february/christianity-todays-2016-book-awards.html?share=eR3vTQh01qlUuuz8YQrQIYtZioRmrqqV" target="_blank">2016 Christianity Book Award[/url] in the category of Missions/The Global Church.</p>

<p><span>M</span>y wife, Grace, and I were in a restaurant in an Asian country when friends ushered to our table another American couple. Our friends introduced me as an expert on Islam. ?Oh, how delightful to meet you!? the American couple exclaimed. ?We want to learn all we can from you about Muslims. Of course, we both know it is difficult to describe Muslims, because the Muslim holy book teaches Muslims to be liars. So when a Muslim says he has become a Christian, we can all know he is still a Muslim because his lies actually communicate the opposite of what is true.?</p>

<p>On another occasion I was in a mosque on a Friday just on the eve of the Christmas holidays. In the sermon the imam confidently explained to the congregation that Christians get drunk on Christmas. So a proof of the truth of Islam is that Muslims do not get drunk, he said; they would never think of desecrating a Muslim festival by drinking.</p>

<p>Neither statement is true. Some Muslims do tell lies; some Christians do get drunk at Christmas. But this is not normal. Most Christians do not get drunk on Christmas, and most Muslims are not liars.</p>

<p>Muslims and Christians often participate in distortions of one another. Both would do well to be people of truth and avoid distortions or exaggerated overstatement. My goal is to communicate the essence of Islam in ways that, if Muslims were listening, they would agree. I am committed to accurately describing their faith and truthfully representing disagreements. I also plead with Muslims to exercise the same commitment. Muslims and Christians should be careful to portray each other in ways that are truthful, kind, and trust building.</p>

<p>In the spirit of building relations committed to truth, I will comment on four distortions that need to be addressed: two Muslim distortions and two Christian distortions.</p>

<h4>The Counselor</h4>

<p>Muslims often comment that Jesus prophesied the coming of Muhammad. This conviction arises from the Qur?an stating that Jesus anticipated a final prophet. Muslims believe Muhammad is that prophet. So Muslims search the New Testament to find where Jesus proclaimed that a final prophet would come. Muslim scholars say they have found the prophecy in John 14 and 16, where Jesus prophesied the coming of the Counselor. The original Greek word is paracleitos, meaning ?counselor.? Muslim scholars sometimes state that they have discovered the original word is periplutos, meaning ?the one worthy of praise.? Ahmed, or Muhammad, also means ?the one worthy of praise.? These scholars explain that although the original word was periplutos, Christians removed periplutos and inserted a corruption of the text?namely, paracleitos, ?the counselor.?</p>

<p>Christians often experience this ?scholarly? denial of Jesus? promise of the coming of the Holy Spirit. I was in a mosque when the imam began to weep as he explained to us that Christians had changed the text and inserted ?the Holy Spirit? instead of the original ?Muhammad.? The imam demonstrated anguished grief that Christians would do such a thing! How should Christians respond? This is how we responded in the mosque that evening:</p>



<p>There are at least 5,000 ancient manuscripts of the New Testament. All of these manuscripts, with no exception, assert that Jesus promised the Counselor would come and that the Counselor is the Holy Spirit. So we choose to stand upon the testimony of the Scriptures God has entrusted to us. And we encourage our Muslim friends likewise to respect the trustworthiness of the biblical account concerning the Holy Spirit.</p>



<span id="133281"></span></div>

Source: Two Ways Christians Distort Islam (and Two Ways Muslims Distort Christianity)

C-Family - C-More







Interesting subject ; shows it works both ways






http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/9650-two-ways-christians-distort-islam-and-two-ways-muslims-distort-christianity
http://www.christianitytoday.com/ct/2016/january-february/christianity-todays-2016-book-awards.html?share=eR3vTQh01qlUuuz8YQrQIYtZioRmrqqV
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

CFamily

  • Guest
Confessions of a Controlling Wife
« Reply #4 on: February 05, 2016, 12:00:24 AM »
Confessions of a Controlling Wife

Confessions of a Controlling Wife

SVETAZI / SHUTTERSTOCK.COM




You should really hold the baby like this, talk to him like that, play with him this way, feed him that way . . .”


The list of rules I had for my husband’s relationship with our son was a mile long and twice as deep. Not that I knew it at the time. I was just excited to share everything I’d learned from reading all the right books, consulting all the right experts, and taking all the right classes. Not only had I prepared myself to be a top-notch mother, I had also prepared myself to teach my husband to become a top-notch father.


Having grown up in a chaotic and unpredictable home, I vowed my adult life would have order and direction. Unfortunately, instead of creating a home where my husband and I could enjoy calm and serenity, I had become a dictatorial taskmaster. Everything was neat, orderly, well-maintained—and miserable.


The Root of My Fear


I wish I could tell you this behavior was short lived and isolated, but I would be lying. My need for control, which reared its ugly head while my husband and I were dating, grew into a fully formed monster once we were married. How did I let this happen? I went from a social butterfly to the “fun police,” making snarky remarks before my husband went out for an evening with friends and turning a cold shoulder when he returned. Once regarded as the “personal cheerleader” for my group of friends, I was now the professional eye roller, dismissing every success my husband had at work as trivial or lucky.


Gone was the go-with-the-flow girl, replaced by the taskmaster, assigning projects according to my schedule and huffing with disappointment when my hazy requests didn’t produce perfect results. I thought I was just being helpful. I thought it was my responsibility to hold it all together.


My need for control in every situation, fretting over every problem, and deciding to do most things myself so they would be done right were all an attempt to deal with being uncomfortable. Unsure. Fearful.


Growing up, I often assumed an adult role out of necessity, especially after my parents’ divorce. I found that I was good at taking charge, and this steamroller technique was quite effective for putting myself through college and working in the corporate world, but it no longer served me well, and it certainly wasn’t helping my marriage.


It took a heated argument for me to see my husband’s side of things. One day he just exploded with emotion. It wasn’t volatile or inappropriate, but it was heartbreaking. He finally told me that I had been emasculating, dismissive, alienating, and just plain unkind. Though I loved my husband, I had been treating him like an insolent child.





Source: Confessions of a Controlling Wife

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http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/9716-confessions-of-a-controlling-wife
http://www.todayschristianwoman.com/images/66733.jpg?w=620
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

CFamily

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Why I Gave in to Barbie, Even Before Her Size Change
« Reply #5 on: February 06, 2016, 12:00:10 AM »
Why I Gave in to Barbie, Even Before Her Size Change

After 57 years, Barbie has a new shape. Several, actually.


In an effort to boost declining sales, Mattel unveiled curvy, petite, and tall Barbies late last month. These new dolls will be sold alongside traditional Barbies. While mothers around the country will appreciate this historic change, a few millimeters difference in size cannot reverse the cultural message about women's bodies that has already reached many young girls.


My three daughters have collected Barbie dolls for years. Given her reputation as impossibly skinny, usually white, and overly commercialized, Barbie’s presence among our kids’ toys has caused well-meaning friends to silently question our parenting: Don’t they know that Barbies foster body image issues? Can’t they see that they teach destructive ideas about being a woman?


Of course I can see it. Barbie’s traditional proportions make no sense, and her look implies that beauty is exclusively defined as thin, white, and silky blond. For five whole years, we intentionally kept Barbie out of our home. But after our oldest daughter’s fifth birthday, we could hold out no longer.


We threw her a butterfly-themed party, and one guest brought a present to match: a Barbie with extendable orange, pink, and black wings, like a monarch butterfly. This thoughtful neighbor, having recently arrived in the US, was likely unaware of our American angst over Barbie, and she clearly did not share it. She simply chose a toy that a little girl who was into butterflies would love. There was no question that we would embrace this thoughtful gift with gratitude and gladness.


And so it began. The Saddle ‘N Ride horse was out of the barn. Next came friends for butterfly Barbie; we bought a few more dolls at a secondhand store, making sure to select non-white ones. Along with them came the clothes and the accessories.


Barbie and her extensive wardrobe and real estate portfolio turned out to be an excellent platform for my girls’ imaginative play. For kids who love play acting and world-making, this set of toys helps them generate one creative scenario after another. My daughters have engineered a pulley-operated elevator for her house, designed her a wardrobe crafted from painters tape, and displayed her at their “bookstore” tenderly cradling Smurfette to illustrate Richard Stearns’s God’s Love for You. This Christmas I found the Joseph from our nativity scene camping with one of the shepherds outside Barbie’s RV.



Source: Why I Gave in to Barbie, Even Before Her Size Change

C-Family - C-More








http://www.faithwall.co.uk/index.php/15-christian-family/9725-why-i-gave-in-to-barbie-even-before-her-size-change
http://time.com/barbie-new-body-cover-story/?xid=newsletter-brief
http://www.slate.com/blogs/xx_factor/2016/01/28/little_girls_reactions_to_curvy_barbie_prove_why_we_need_curvy_barbie.html
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/06/barbie-real-woman-proportions-mildly-terrifying_n_1749204.html
https://goetschblog.wordpress.com/tag/imaginative-child/
https://goetschblog.wordpress.com/2015/10/06/exploits-of-the-imaginative-child-or-why-i-need-therapy/
https://goetschblog.wordpress.com/2015/12/21/christmas-decorating-with-imaginative-children-and-cats/
http://www.1faith.co.uk/family-home-forum/?action=post

TJ

  • Guest
Re: Christian family - family and home topics
« Reply #6 on: February 06, 2016, 02:40:46 PM »
Political correctness [where will it end]

Can you get colored barbies ? [must not say "black]

I must say "life has not been the same since they changed barbie   knit:


Offline Seeker

Re: Christian family - family and home topics
« Reply #7 on: February 06, 2016, 05:28:15 PM »
Replying to the post on 'Insecurities' - so basically if one has a big ego already one does not need self affirmations? Was that the gist?

I know two people in my life that 'appear' to have big egos, I know them both very well. One is male - he comes across as having a big ego, lots of bravado, but I have known him a long time and know it is mostly an act. The other person is female, she also comes across as having a big ego, being very sure of herself, but I know her well enough to know she is riddled with insecurity.

Basically what I am saying is, some can appear very sure of themselves, full of bravado and ego, but it may not be the truth.

C-Family @ Faithwall

C-FAMILY ~ C MORE @ Faithwall.co.uk