Author Topic: Falling Out at Church  (Read 82 times)

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Offline HalfFullGuy

Falling Out at Church
« on: February 20, 2019, 05:43:56 PM »

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I've been going to a different Church after a number of disagreements with our vicar and a few issues with other members of the congregation. This is in an Anglican Church.

The first major issue was when I asked him to help me find another spiritual director but he just completely ignored me. Other incidents include his defence of Mohammed and calling him a Prophet in Church. He may the prophet of Islam, but he's no Prophet in Christianity as far as Im concerned.

I've heard servers who refused to repay their debts after damaging someone elses equipment and swore at the victim as they reluctantly handed over cash, servers who mock, insult, joke about killing certain politicians in a socialist way, but they lift Mohammed up on a pedestal as being an example to us all.

I've had priests in training divulge secret and personal information about others to me, say that I've got white privilege, I've heard political sermons about how we should vote Labour, sermons on a gay persons sexuality (when sexuality, straight or otherwise really should have no place IMHO), practically called a racist by one of the clergy after objecting to Halal only events (I advocated a choice pointing out you wouldn't ban milk to be more welcoming to vegans?). And then after spending some time in hospital, had zero support from the Church. There was also a group that went on a mission a few years back that had divisions down the middle because one group hated someone on the other group. I wanted to bring both groups together. I felt like I belonged to both groups, not to one or the other. But our vicar did nothing to bring people together. So I was basically left on my own while everyone else was enjoying themselves amongst their individual friendships.

Since leaving, excluding Bible Study and the Vicar, only two people have got in touch by text message. One of those have even removed themselves as a friend on Facebook.

I've pointed out all the issues and raised a grievance and basically everythings been ignored, they've defended themselves, and it feels like they're turning it all around on me.

It's been suggested I go and see the vicar to apologise, show some humility and forgive them.

I do forgive them. They're human. But the tragic thing is, there's no acknowledgement of any of the issues. I have to apologise for being the victim in all this. Where's other peoples forgiveness and apologies? Our vicars even said all we can do is apologise and move on. But I said to him, no one has apologised except me.

I even used to do their website but was kicked off from doing it after it wasn't updated enough. Never mind the fact I kept screaming out for content and never had any provided. Never mind, his website, his decision. But when I sent an email to the group responsible for overseeing communication and made recommendations. Ten people I emailed, got one response back thanking me for the time that I spent doing the website. No one's taken anything on board.

I even used to play in the music group but haven't heard from any of them, not even the leader. Some concern eh.

No one came back and said "look, lets have a chat about why you're not here. lets see if we can sort something out". Nothing. I wouldn't mind but the music leader hates the vicar and the vicar hates the music leader.

It's like spiritual warfare, or spiritual abuse.

It's really weird.

Any thoughts what might be going on? What I might do about it?



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Offline Indonesia

Re: Falling Out at Church
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2019, 07:42:49 PM »
Sorry to hear that you are going through a difficult time. Hope and pray you find a fellowship of genuine christians, who are loyal and steadfast in their faith and conduct.

Offline francis drake

Re: Falling Out at Church
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2019, 10:24:09 PM »
I've been going to a different Church after a number of disagreements with our vicar and a few issues with other members of the congregation. This is in an Anglican Church.

The first major issue was when I asked him to help me find another spiritual director but he just completely ignored me. Other incidents include his defence of Mohammed and calling him a Prophet in Church. He may the prophet of Islam, but he's no Prophet in Christianity as far as Im concerned.

I've heard servers who refused to repay their debts after damaging someone elses equipment and swore at the victim as they reluctantly handed over cash, servers who mock, insult, joke about killing certain politicians in a socialist way, but they lift Mohammed up on a pedestal as being an example to us all.

I've had priests in training divulge secret and personal information about others to me, say that I've got white privilege, I've heard political sermons about how we should vote Labour, sermons on a gay persons sexuality (when sexuality, straight or otherwise really should have no place IMHO), practically called a racist by one of the clergy after objecting to Halal only events (I advocated a choice pointing out you wouldn't ban milk to be more welcoming to vegans?). And then after spending some time in hospital, had zero support from the Church. There was also a group that went on a mission a few years back that had divisions down the middle because one group hated someone on the other group. I wanted to bring both groups together. I felt like I belonged to both groups, not to one or the other. But our vicar did nothing to bring people together. So I was basically left on my own while everyone else was enjoying themselves amongst their individual friendships.

Since leaving, excluding Bible Study and the Vicar, only two people have got in touch by text message. One of those have even removed themselves as a friend on Facebook.

I've pointed out all the issues and raised a grievance and basically everythings been ignored, they've defended themselves, and it feels like they're turning it all around on me.

It's been suggested I go and see the vicar to apologise, show some humility and forgive them.

I do forgive them. They're human. But the tragic thing is, there's no acknowledgement of any of the issues. I have to apologise for being the victim in all this. Where's other peoples forgiveness and apologies? Our vicars even said all we can do is apologise and move on. But I said to him, no one has apologised except me.

I even used to do their website but was kicked off from doing it after it wasn't updated enough. Never mind the fact I kept screaming out for content and never had any provided. Never mind, his website, his decision. But when I sent an email to the group responsible for overseeing communication and made recommendations. Ten people I emailed, got one response back thanking me for the time that I spent doing the website. No one's taken anything on board.

I even used to play in the music group but haven't heard from any of them, not even the leader. Some concern eh.

No one came back and said "look, lets have a chat about why you're not here. lets see if we can sort something out". Nothing. I wouldn't mind but the music leader hates the vicar and the vicar hates the music leader.

It's like spiritual warfare, or spiritual abuse.

It's really weird.

Any thoughts what might be going on? What I might do about it?
Why did you stay and support such an unspiritual organisation?
You are not an Anglican, you are a son of the Most High God!
Shake the dust of your shoes and go find real spiritual fellowship.
Disturb us Lord, when we are too pleased with ourselves. When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little. When we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore. Disturb us Lord, to dare more boldly. To venture on wider seas. Where storms will show your mastery; Where, losing sight of land, we shall find the stars. We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes; And to push into the future, in strength, courage, hope and love.                     (SIR FRANCIS DRAKE 1577)

Offline John

Re: Falling Out at Church
« Reply #3 on: February 21, 2019, 04:47:33 PM »
"I've been going to a different Church after a number of disagreements with our vicar and a few issues with other members of the congregation"

So how this other church rate?

Check out sites like christianityexplored and the shipoffools mystery worshipper for other churches and for the oppertunity to comment on churches you've visited.

Offline Carpenters Son.

Re: Falling Out at Church
« Reply #4 on: February 22, 2019, 01:24:52 AM »
You will know them by their fruit.

Your vicar does not understand the scriptures. He is blind to them and that is why he allows a mix of religious beliefs into the church. It is a case of the blind leading the blind.

A church position does not mean you are a Christian.

Knowing and learning everything there is to know about a person is no substitute for knowing a person. Knowing a person means one has conversations with them. One knows when the person is sad or angry. Knowing everything about someone can end up with one having all sorts of manmade qualifications but what good are these if one wants to actually know the person?
If I went to you and said I have found out everything about you. Your past work record. Your school exam results. Your medical record and then assume I am your best friend because I have found out all about you what would you say to me? Words like "Get lost you creep" come to mind, and "Get off my property". In other words, you will reject me. Now what will people say who are highly qualified and learned all about Jesus Christ but never actually knew Him? They will be rejected and thrown into Hell.
Now our prayers for these people? Well, we need to ask Jesus to knock on their hearts door. If they open their heart and welcome Jesus they will get to know Him and be saved, as Jesus will give them His salvation as a free gift. If they do not open the door, or open it and slam it shut they will reject salvation and will have no way to stand before God when God judges them. They will end up being cast into Hell.
So lets pray and ask Jesus to knock on their hearts door. It is up to them if they open it or not.

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