Author Topic: pastoral visit  (Read 80 times)

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Offline Little-l

pastoral visit
« on: May 13, 2018, 09:45:29 PM »
My husband, 2 year old and I have started going to church. I haven't been in over 10 years I'm now 30... I'm ashamed to say I lost my faith after certain  events and life just passed quickly and it became years....

The pastor said he would like to get yo know us better and is visiting soon

I am so socially anxious and have been trying very hard for weeks to speak to people and him after the service during the tea and coffee time afterwards...

I am very anxious about this visit incase I say the wrong things and say stupid things... I got myself worked up wheb trying to arrange it and felt I was mucking him about trying to work out dates and times ... I got myself flustered and feel like he thought I didnt want to bother...

That said I'm also scared because I haven't read much of the bible in years and even then I didnt read it seriously... I would like to understand more and eventually be confirmed.

I am worried he will ask my favourite bible passage and I can't really answer that I feel like I'm restarting my journey. I really know so little. Also reading the bible is supper difficult for me as I have learning difficulties... I'm worried he will think I'm making excuses but I'm willing to learn it's just hard to get it to stick and understand it...

I want to raise my son a Christian and he has been baptised.

I'm so anxious over this visit as I'm disabled and pregnant so our house needs some tlc we were supposed to get help from my parents but unfortunately my grandad has had a stroke which I'm aim also struggling with  and also supporting my mum through... but this has meant they haven't been able to visit and help. Our walls of our living room has cracked paint we have a slight odor at the moment due to rat trouble due to a collapsed drain.... (had and still having pest control visits) I just feel very overwhelmed.

This pregnancy was unplanned we were going to have a form of ivf that screens for my genetic disorder like we did for our two year old I prayed on it last time and prayed on it this time and 4 months before we were due to start (3 weeks ago) we found out we were pregnant despite my husband having sperm issues and a bunch of other things that should have prevented it. We're happy but scared as there a 50% chance the child will have my condition and a roll of the dice how badly and it can be pretty bad deformsties , severe bone ,muscle nerve and neurological issues ect... these are rarer but can happen.

Again were celebrating this baby and are happy but scared too god obviously had other plans for us. This surprised me as if the ivf didnt work we were going to adopt.
We are feeling blessed.

However all of this is overwhelming...

I'm so worried about this visit I know I'm  being silly but I really do find it difficult to get accross what I mean sometimes and talking to people I don't know well...

It's easier online where I can sit and think properly

I just don't know what to expect from this visit has anyone else had one and what happened during it?



Offline Tes Johnson

Re: pastoral visit
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2018, 12:28:15 AM »
My husband, 2 year old and I have started going to church. I haven't been in over 10 years I'm now 30... I'm ashamed to say I lost my faith after certain  events and life just passed quickly and it became years....

The pastor said he would like to get yo know us better and is visiting soon

I am so socially anxious and have been trying very hard for weeks to speak to people and him after the service during the tea and coffee time afterwards...

I am very anxious about this visit incase I say the wrong things and say stupid things... I got myself worked up wheb trying to arrange it and felt I was mucking him about trying to work out dates and times ... I got myself flustered and feel like he thought I didnt want to bother...

That said I'm also scared because I haven't read much of the bible in years and even then I didnt read it seriously... I would like to understand more and eventually be confirmed.

I am worried he will ask my favourite bible passage and I can't really answer that I feel like I'm restarting my journey. I really know so little. Also reading the bible is supper difficult for me as I have learning difficulties... I'm worried he will think I'm making excuses but I'm willing to learn it's just hard to get it to stick and understand it...

I want to raise my son a Christian and he has been baptised.

I'm so anxious over this visit as I'm disabled and pregnant so our house needs some tlc we were supposed to get help from my parents but unfortunately my grandad has had a stroke which I'm aim also struggling with  and also supporting my mum through... but this has meant they haven't been able to visit and help. Our walls of our living room has cracked paint we have a slight odor at the moment due to rat trouble due to a collapsed drain.... (had and still having pest control visits) I just feel very overwhelmed.

This pregnancy was unplanned we were going to have a form of ivf that screens for my genetic disorder like we did for our two year old I prayed on it last time and prayed on it this time and 4 months before we were due to start (3 weeks ago) we found out we were pregnant despite my husband having sperm issues and a bunch of other things that should have prevented it. We're happy but scared as there a 50% chance the child will have my condition and a roll of the dice how badly and it can be pretty bad deformsties , severe bone ,muscle nerve and neurological issues ect... these are rarer but can happen.

Again were celebrating this baby and are happy but scared too god obviously had other plans for us. This surprised me as if the ivf didnt work we were going to adopt.
We are feeling blessed.

However all of this is overwhelming...

I'm so worried about this visit I know I'm  being silly but I really do find it difficult to get accross what I mean sometimes and talking to people I don't know well...

It's easier online where I can sit and think properly

I just don't know what to expect from this visit has anyone else had one and what happened during it?


hi @Little-l

Don't worry too much about it - he simply wants to get to know you   :D

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I'm ashamed to say I lost my faith after certain  events and life just passed quickly and it became years....



Ohh don't worry too much about that - I can identify with you and the enemy wants you to feel this way

In my first years as a Christian [my honeymoon years]  I lived with the leaders of a Church who were excomunicated ..

My fatherinlaw is a minister - anyway - just be yourself in God and relax...

Your mind is blowing this up out of proportion  - take charge of it..



In this particular case you have authority over your apprehension and anxiety [as you are causing it]

It gives you an anchor and place where you feel safe - as you believe it is youand your person...

It's a bond that ypou have latched onto - to make you feel secure...

Pray "Lord Jesus I let go of this insecurity today and You will give me the words to speak to the Minister"

In Jesus Name Amen


Now search yourself inwardly and keep doing that...


This is all about your response and is no longer about how you respond [you nniw have the authority] 

In this particular case and referring to you and this is God speaking to you "now"

wow - you are now speaking to God and not just a minister of God...

I get Luke 10:19  you have to go on this Journey...

As you walk with Goid - learn as you go on this  jourrney..


Offline Deborah

Re: pastoral visit
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2018, 12:23:29 PM »
Hi there Little-I

Try not to worry about this (I know it's easier said than done!). As Tes says, it's the devil who wants to stop you from getting back into church again.

The pastor really does want to get to know you - your background, your problems and worries. It's his job to help you! The best thing you can do is be totally honest. He isn't going to give you a test in Bible knowledge or anything like that. (Actually, very few Christians read their Bibles regularly anyway)

If you find it easier to write things down, why not write a little 'autobiography' of yourself, including everything you want to tell him, and then read it out to him when he comes. It might feel a bit strange, but you can explain why you're doing it and it could help to break the ice. (Having written it, you may not need to actually read it aloud - just getting your thoughts organised on paper could be helpful)

Hope this helps

Deb
"My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." (II Corinthians 12:9)

Offline John

Re: pastoral visit
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2018, 02:57:32 PM »
Welcome Little-I,
                            May I suggest as Deborah has said, be honest with your self and with the pastor.
Do what you can to tidy the hall and the living room, as far as possible without driving yourself into a nervous break down.

not everyones house is a dream home, imaculate in everyway. Mine certaiunly isn't.

Could you ask your husband to talk and arrange a date and time for the visit so that he can be there as well, or if you would prefer for the paster wife to call round durring the day.

The visit isn't like joining the masons where one has to pass a stiff verbal examination known as the 3rd degree. The visits purpose is to get to know you as a family.